Weddings--Who Pays for What?
Are you confused by who does what for your wedding? Wedding responsibilities are clearly defined in many
a dusty tome in the Library of Congress. They're dusty, because no one has opened them for decades. Still, it
helps to know who does what and who pays for what in a traditional wedding so that you can negotiate with
your fiancé, your parents, and other interested parties.
Pay Your Own Way
Everyone pays for his or her own:
- Wedding attire and accessories
- Travel expenses and accommodations (Sometimes, the bride's family pays for the bridesmaids'
travel expenses and accommodations.)
That was simple. Now comes the confusing part. While you may think that the bride's family customarily pays for
everything, that's not quite true. The bride's family traditionally pays for the lion's share of the expenses, and it is likely
that this custom grew out of the old dowry concept. Refer to the handy checklist below to see who customarily pays for what.
Family of the Bride
- Engagement party
- Engagement (announcement) photos
- Wedding stationery and postage, including invitations, announcements, thank-you notes, etc., and wedding programs
- Bride's wedding dress, accessories and trousseau (When was the last time you heard that word?)
- Wedding planner
- Bridesmaids' luncheon and gifts
- Groom's wedding ring
- Wedding ceremony, including rental fee, organist, soloist, any props, including the aisle carpet
- Floral displays for the wedding and the reception, bridesmaids' bouquets, flower girl's basket and petals,
- Transportation to the wedding and from the wedding to the reception for the bridal party
- Reception, including rental, decorations, food, drinks, music
Family of the Groom
- Bride's engagement ring
- Optional additional engagement party
- Marriage license
- Rehearsal dinner
- Best man and usher's wedding gifts
- Bride's wedding gift
- Bride's bouquet, mothers' and grandmothers' corsages, boutonnières for wedding party
- Clergy or presiding official's fee
- Honeymoon, including transportation to and from the airport
In addition to the above, it's customary for the groom's attendants to host a bachelor party and for the bride's
attendants to host a bridal shower.
More and more, both families are sharing the expense of a big wedding, and often the couple pays for their own
wedding. Let this checklist serve as a guide, and if someone from the other side of the aisle offers to pay for something,
smile and say, "Why, thank you. I'd be honored." You have just received a gift!
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